Thanksgiving-A Bust

No, it wasn't a bust because I burned mashed potatoes or dropped the turkey on the floor (although both are very real possibilities.) Actually, all I had to do was make a green bean casserole and with the recipe right on the back of the french fried onions can and sister Deb just a speed dial away, I pulled it off quite well.

It was a bust because Andrew, Julian and I all had the flu. While I made that green bean casserole I wrapped a bib around my mouth and nose just to avoid the smell and dodge yet another half hour spent on my knees on the cold unforgiving bathroom floor hurling into the toilet. Detailed I know. My apologies.

I did manage to make the drive to our Thanksgiving host's house, throw the casserole through her front door and run back to the safety of my car where I didn't have to smell the would be glorious turkey cooking in her oven.

We are finally healthy again, Julian is napping for the first time in what seems like weeks, and we will celebrate our own Thanksgiving next weekend with a roast duck, topping off the day with Christmas decorating and tree trimming...which now that I think about it, never really understood why we call it "trimming a tree"...

Abby Swims!

Tonight I was preparing J for his bath, which is usually Andrew's job but he's not here tonight, so I don't really have a routine yet. I decided to run the tub first, bring him in his room, get him undressed, and put him in the tub. It all makes perfect sense really-until you throw Abby into the mix-the dog who eats, drinks, laps everything! She wanted to drink the bath water that I had just ran and I could see her from J's room as she continuously tried to jump into the tub to drink the water (she hates the bath mind you). Then the dumb dog tried to get clever and jump to the toilet then into the bathtub, but she only made it as far as the toilet. The lid was up and the 10 pounder fell butt first, right into the toilet. I had to put Julian down on the floor, with no diaper and only a tshirt on, and go rescue the dog. As she tramped around my house wet with toilet water on her hiney I had to bathe J, get him ready for bed, put him back on the floor to play, and then grab Abby and just throw her into J's bath water. I could never be a single parent...especially not a single parent and a dog owner (especially one of Abby's nature). Kudos to all of you who do it. There is a special place for you in heaven.

Dream Interpretation

I had a dream last night that started at the end and worked it's way to the beginning, but that's not the weirdest part.

I was having a steamy make out session (yes, make out only) with my steamy husband and I felt a hair in my throat. I cleared my throat, reached in to pull out what I thought was a hair and instead pulled out one of my necklaces. But then I kept reaching in and pulled out necklace after necklace. Then my dream started working it's way backward to the beginning and it was concluded that I had slept walked and swallowed all my necklaces in my sleep.

It was all very strange. I don't particularly believe in dream interpretation, but I would love to hear what a dream interpretor would have to say about all my suspected insecurities and supposed deep dark secrets with this one. I personally think it stemmed from the most recent Grey's Anatomy in which a girl's father had night terrors and slept walked right off a 2-story balcony. But if you are one of those dream interpretor types, go on and tell me that it was due to a fear of the unknown or a necklace phobia. I'd love to hear your thoughts...seriously.

A-Hunting We Will Go

This past week, A and I headed north to Virginia with the little guy to visit my Aunt and Uncle and so that A could hunt with my cousin, Mike. Traveling is always hectic and exhausting, even when you do absolutely nothing once at your destination (which I am proud to say is exactly what I did!) But when you have a baby, things get worse!

Before Baby: One bag-for both of us.
After Baby: 2 suitcases with extra extra extra clothes (and we still needed to do laundry), 1 diaper bag bursting at the zipper with diapers and wipes, baby food.

Before Baby: Point A to Point B without stopping. No eating, No peeing, No Puking. Just get there.
After Baby: Point A to 50 Miles down the road. Feed, Change Diaper, Wipe Spit up. Repeat every 50 miles.

Before Baby: Cool rock music blaring out the sunroof while passerbys look in awe at our awesomeness.
After Baby: Celine Dion Lullabies and Laurie Berkner Sing-A-Longs with sunroof closed (because the sun is too bright and the wind is too much) while we look at passerbys in jealousy of their cool rock music.

But, we did make it, eventually. After finally arriving (at 9pm), we immediately turned in (I never thought I would ever use the term 'turned in') for the night. The guys got up at 4 am to go hunting (of course waking J on the way out). They did this everyday we were there, and shot nothing. They did see a deer though, but admitted in all their shame that they were scared to shoot it in fear that the 10 year old daughter of a friend they went hunting with would ask them in her thick, southern accent "what'd you do, punch it in the nose? That thing is so small." We didn't leave empty handed though, the guys somehow scored (ahem-probably paid someone off for) some meat which they cut up themselves with a rusty sawzall and a couple of gerber knives. Classy.

And speaking of classy, I can't end this travel post without telling you that while we were there, my 6 year old cousin peed in an empty listerine bottle and left it on the bathroom sink because he "saw it on a tv show and wanted to try it." He was found out before anyway swished it, but imagine if they had........

Baby Spit-Up

J has been a 'spitter' since his first burp out of the womb. Rarely does he eat without spitting up after, but today was different--and scary.

He's been having trouble sleeping again, so I was well rested and happy (with combed hair too!) when he slept a 7 1/2 hour stretch and woke up at 7:30 this morning. I had to feed him right away before the muffin tops exploded and as soon as he was finished he spit-up...blood. I completely panicked and called the Dr. immediately. I was able to get him in right away. He got weighed (16 lbs. 12 oz!) and as I picked him up off the scale he spit up a little more blood on my white shirt (stupid thinking on my part with the white shirt).

The doctor checked him out and told us he was a very healthy baby other than the spit up. He did a 'baby gram' (x-ray) and all looked fine. It was determined that because he spits up so much he may have a tear in his asophogus, which is normal for 'spitters'. He is being treated with baby prevacid, and has been happy ever since.

What a scary ordeal...

J's First Halloween!

J had a successful first halloween as an adorable little Jack-O-Lantern. Successful meaning he wore his costume (read: sweatsuit) for 4 hours without puking or pooping on it. We had less than 75 trick-or-treaters this year (about 1/4 of what we had last year) and hardly any of them dressed up. Let's put some figures in here-1/3 didn't dress up, 1/3 were disney princesses, and the final third were all batman. I am sure one of the 25 batman cuties will never return to this house again, as our 10 pound bumblee dog chased after his cape until A saved the day and tackled the bee halfway to the road where little batman was finally in the safety of his Daddy Batman's arms!

Vick's Baby Rub

After locating the cutest cool mist humidifier (shaped like a frog!) I sought out the Vick's Baby Rub. My plan was to put some in J's bath and some on his chest before bed, but the jar specifically says not to put it in the bath. Audrey came over and told me she had heard of people putting the Vick's on the botton of their baby's feet to help with congestion and then my memory was triggered. My neighbor did that with her daughter when she had a terrible cold. I never found out if it worked for her or not, but decided to give it a try.

J had a nice warm bath, got lotion on his little chapped cheeks and Vick's on the bottom of his feet. He slept better than the night before, but when he woke up at 4:30am he seemed to be sicker than yesterday. (Are cold's actually worse at night or do they just seem that way from utter exhaustion?) He ate, but woke up everytime I put him down in his crib. Andrew had to get up at 5, so I just layed J down on A's side of the bed, loaded his feet up with the Vick's again, and voila! He slept until 9am!

He still has the cold (we can't expect miracles here) but I am sticking with the foot theory. It works for us!

Jury Duty

I was summonsed for Jury Duty and served my 'sentence' on Monday. There were 300 people called in for this particular day and not a single person was called in to trial. We sat in a room set up like an airport from 8am until 5pm. You know the like-uncomfortable seats attached by the arm, tall windows that let you see the outside world but are a constant reminder letting you know that you are trapped inside. I brought a book to read (no newspapers allowed) but didn't get past the first paragraph due to a well meaning, but all too self absorbed man telling me all about his trucking business and every item he has ever delivered and every city he has ever visited. He's the type that if you mention an experience in your own life, he's had the same experience or an even better/worse one (depending on the situation). He is what Andrew and I call the "one-upper".

J went to a babysitter (a good friend of ours with 2 children of her own). I was a mild wreck for most of the day, but Andrew went to check on him at lunchtime, while I ran home and pumped the overflowing milk out of my breasts. (And when I say ran, I mean drove my car 30 mph over the speed limit in a panic that my boobs would rupture and we would need to call in a hazard team to clean up the milk debris left all over the road).

Now J has a cold (presumably from said friend's 15 month old being all too sweet and sharing his pacifier). It's his 1st cold and he is miserable. Snot running out his nostrils and into the back of his throat making him choke. Slight fever. Restless sleep. Poor little man. Now my aunt has suggested a cool mist vaporizer (not a hot air vaporizers "hot air vaporizers are bad") so as soon as he wakes up and I bundle him up, we are on our way to Target for this handy little contraption...only-I don't even know what section of the store to look for it. We might be out for awhile...

And here I am about to put an end to this "all bad things stem from Jury Duty" blog and I hear a major crash. A tree branch just broke off in the backyard and came crashing down on our patio set knocking over a chair onto the brick patio. Needless to say, the baby is awake-again.

He Sleeps, He Poops!

J slept from 8pm-4:30am last night, and then was up for the day at 7! The extra rest came with another pricetag for me though-

After returning from the gym today (ugh, yes, I go to the gym...) I sat him down in his bouncer seat so that I could wash the dishes. I looked down and saw the red poop face in action and as soon as I was finished and he was finished (or so I thought), we headed straight for the changing table, only to be confronted with poop up to the belly button and up to the neck in the back. I wiped him as best I could (thank god I had just taken the changing pad cover off to wash it, so that clean up was easy!) and then ran a bath (wipes alone could only help this situation, not solve it!) Oh! But the story doesn't end yet...

As soon as I put him in his tub, he peed in it-a lot! I hadn't washed his hair or his face yet, so I took him out of it and put fresh water in it. The story doesn't end yet...

I had him standing on the edge of the tub facing me while I held onto him, and I hear pfffff, look down and there is poop everywhere! He went again, all over the tub! I looked at him in amazement (honestly, how can that much poop come out of a 15 pound baby?) and he just started laughing. He must have felt great after all that! The story (still) doesn't end yet...

I ran his little hiney under the faucet, put him back in his tub, put shampoo in his hair (what little hair he has) and he spit up all over himself!

Ok, now the story ends, and now I have a happy, clean baby. In fact...I have a 5 month old baby (today!) who has been napping since 12:45! We're coming up on 3 hours here!

I have been able to make 2 chicken pot pies (one for a family who I don't even like, but they just had a baby so I am being nice!), eat lunch, take a 1 hour nap, shower, blow dry and straighten my hair, and write this entire blog. Maybe I should tackle that pile of unfolded laundry now?

By the way, did I mention I had to call one of my sisters again about 3 times just to figure out how to make this chicken pot pie? I am so lost without them!

Farewell Dolce and Gabbanna

It takes me months, years even, to find sunglasses to fit my tiny head! We finally splurged last year and bought a pair of Dolce & Gabbanna sunglasses at Sunglass Hut because they fit me perfectly! I went to Applebees for lunch today, got up to change J in the bathroom, came back and my sunglasses were G-O-N-E! I searched the table, the seats (I even ripped the cushions off of the booth!) under the table, in the bathroom, the changing table, the diaper bag, my car, under my car-everywhere...twice!

I am convinced they were stolen and I am semi-convinced the crude waitress with the way too short skirt was the one who took them. I do have a heart however, and feel a little bad for jumping to such a judgement. I spoke to a manager and gave him my phone number to call in the event the sunglasses turned up. He told me he's gay and he knows just how important D&G sunglasses are! Just to be safe, I just called again (I'm so annoying I know, but they were D&G!!) to see if they found them. No such luck. They're gone....

Here's a picture of the lost beauties:

My baby is a bat

J went to bed at his normal 8:00 bedtime last night, but was up at 12:30 and every hour from there on out. If we break it down, that means he was up at 12:30, ate for 30 minutes, and was up again 30 minutes later. In case you are as exhausted as I am and can't follow that-it means he slept 30 minutes at a time until 6am and demanded a feeding every time he woke up. I'm convinced, he's nocturnal-a bat, owl, opossum (opossums are nocturnal, right?)



Actually, my thoughts just went a little deeper. What kind of animal stays up all night and all day? Whatever it is, that is the kind of animal he is morphing into. He used to take two 2-3 hour naps a day. Now he naps while he is eating and as soon as I move his eyes burst open for another round of activity.



He has to sleep sometime, right?

A Housewife's Introduction

I'm not really a desperate housewife (although I do love the show and all its quirky drama), but I am a housewife. On top of that, I am an army wife and a proud mother to my almost (as in 2 days almost) 5 month old son, Julian. My husband, Andrew, has been in the military for almost 4 years. We will be making a decision within the next month on whether or not he will be staying in for yet another 4 years (more to come on that at a later time).

I used to be a teacher, but as soon as Julian came along, I was given the gift of a new title: Domestic Goddess. Although, I don't think I am quite at 'goddess' status just yet, I'm still learning my way around that room in the house we refer to as a kitchen. To be honest, I'm more like a Domestic Apprentice. It's all very new and overwhelming at times. In fact, I find myself calling one of my 3 sisters quite often to find out simple recipes that most people have stored away in their memory since, oh I don't know-age 2? I had no idea that meatloaf had other ingredients besides ground beef, I always thought you just crammed all that meat into one of those dishes, stuck it in the oven, and called it meatloaf because it looks like a loaf of bread. It's amazing what ketchup and breadcrumbs can do for a meal.

Speaking of cooking a meal-I've had a crockpot since my bridal shower 2 years ago. The recipe book for it just fell from the heavens (ok the cabinet above the stove) yesterday. I took a quick peak, and you'll never guess what happened! I actually opened the crockpot box, took the whole machine (I think we can call it a machine, right?) out, and today I am making Beef Stew! Maybe I am on my way up this Domestic ladder after all?