Movie Night

Tonight was our first official movie night of the deployment.  The word 'official' is used quite loosely here as we did very little movie watching (ok, we never even actually put a movie in) and instead drank wine, some mixed coffee drinks courtesy of my Mom, and ate the always delicious 'moakey-wamos' made by bff Kim, made famous by Kim's mother in law MiMi.  I am not sure if I can give away the secret to these moakey-wamos so you will just have to use your imagination. All I can say is that they are just decadent.  Britt also came over, and we all had a wonderful time sitting around the table talking, enjoying our treats, and watching on as Memere (my mom), and MiMi attempted to play Mario Kart with some serious language fouls.

Andrew also called tonight and sounded well again, except for a few snotty sniffles.  I hope he isn't getting another cold, he just got over two in a row before he left.  He should finally be done traveling in the next couple of days and start to get settled at his FOB (Forward Operating Base).  I also learned that he will have a government cell phone that he can buy minutes for and use to call home, and even better, I can call him!  I am sure I won't be calling often, but it is relieving just to know that the option is there in the event of an emergency.

Finally, I informed my mom today that I do not want to go home with her for a little while.  I know she really wanted me to and she has not held back in expressing her dissapointment.  The guilt is a little tough to take in and I still have a lot of healing to do.  So my plan is to not argue with her and try to ignore the guilt while I continue to deal with my grief and frustration over this recent loss.  I feel very comfortable in my own environment and would like to stay close to it.  I do feel like I will need to get away in a few weeks and I have been planning on going to my Aunt Karen's house since before the deployment.  Her house is comfortable and relaxing and only 4 hours away.  It is much less stress than driving for 2 days, running around like crazy to see everyone, and then driving 2 days home.  My plans to have a baby this year may have dramatically changed, but I would still like to keep my travel plans and the rest of my life as planned.  I will visit in Maine in march, via air travel, and then for about 5 weeks in May-June for birthdays and weddings-just as planned! 

I may have lost a lot this week, but I will not give up my strength and independence.  I know what is right for me, and I will do what is right for me.